If you haven't seen SPRING BREAKERS, here's what you're missing. SELENA GOMEZ and VANESSA HUDGENS in bikinis playing grab-ass.
So...WHY HAVEN'T YOU SEEN SPRING BREAKERS? No excuse can possibly suffice.
SELENA GOMEZ performs live at Petersen Events Center Oct. 11. Not sure what Selena does beyond look like RED-HOT JAILBAIT. She sings, maybe?
Photo courtesy of @GirlsFromHeaven (NSFW).
Tiger Woods didn’t get another green jacket. But he got the next best thing: An excuse for not winning it.
His improper drop during the second round of the Masters cost him a two-stroke penalty. Woods finished four strokes back, but take away Friday’s gaffe and it’s easy to imagine him legit contending down the stretch.
Or not. Woods hasn’t won a major since 2008 or the Masters since 2005. He remains golf’s demigod based mostly on rep.
Woods’ bum drop was first pointed out to the Masters’ rules committee by a television viewer. But the main impetus behind Woods’ penalty was provided by an interview in which Tiger implicated himself.
Woods could have been disqualified. It’s better he wasn’t. Given the initial confusion over Woods’ faux pas, adding on two strokes seems fair.
Is there a more pathetic species than golf tattletales? These slimy rats obsess in front of their TVs, then call in rules violations.
GET A LIFE. We have become a nation of policemen.
I got no problem with the ruling. I got no sympathy for Woods. I do give him credit for not bitching, and for not trying to wield his considerable clout.
But the same jackass who lies on his couch and snitches to the PGA would stand idly by and watch while some hoodlum steals some old lady’s purse. These stoolies have more regard for the sacred rules of golf than they ever would the human condition.
Golf is supposed to be a game of honor. Let golf police itself.
Woods, to his credit, didn’t use the penalty as an excuse for losing.
But his fans sure will.
TIGER IS NOT CATCHING JACK NICKLAUS. 18 > 14.
Photo courtesy of GettyImages.
Hey, remember the time a porn star got photographed wearing a Super Bowl ring? Mark Madden Show Dream Girl ALEXIS FORD shows off Steelers bling. Alexis is at Blush through tomorrow night.
I haven't yet identified the owner. But I will.
Photo courtesy of @alexisford (NSFW).
ALEXIS FORD appears through Saturday at Blush Gentleman's Club. As hot as these pictures are, they don't do Alexis justice. Her brand-new DDD boobs sound too big, but they're perfectly sized, positioned and proportioned. Her ass is big and it pops, but no cellulite. Round and firm. Just the right amount of jiggle.
Her waist is small. Her face is beautiful. Am I drooling like a schoolboy? Do I sound flirty and desperate? Good. That's the intent. That's what Alexis does to men.
Alexis joins me live at 4:30 pm. She will be the celebrity contestant on WHO WANTS TO WIN 15 BUCKS? Let's make it interesting. MEN ONLY. 21+ ONLY. If the random caller wins, he gets a private dance from Alexis. If Alexis wins, I get the dance.
The questions, of course, will be RANDOMLY GENERATED by the ClearChannel computer. Things will be totally fair. RIGHT DOWN THE MIDDLE. Har.
Photos courtesy of @alexisford (NSFW).
EVGENI MALKIN scored last night. Perhaps that can provide him a new beginning.
THE PIRATES won a second straight. Maybe this can be the start of something big.
But before Geno Nation and the #BUCN crowd whip out the rubber gloves and K-Y Jelly, please remember: CONSISTENCY = EXCELLENCE.
Malkin had a solid game. It was the first time together for Geno and linemates Jarome Iginla and Chris Kunitz. I liked what I saw.
Starling Marte is turning into a catalyst for the Pirates. He's got four straight two-hit games. There's no denying the brilliance of the bullpen thus far.
But Malkin has just two goals in six games since returning from injury. He's netted just seven on the season.
The Pirates are 3-5.
Short-term success doesn't immediately erase long-term disappointment. Nor does it guarantee prosperity in the future.
Sometimes the wrong move produces the right results. Robert Bortuzzo scored last night. But Simon Despres should still be in the lineup ahead of Bortuzzo. Beau Bennett tallied a big goal. But he should still be on the second line, not the fourth.
It's not about today. It's not about yesterday. It's not even about tomorrow. It's about EVERY DAY.
Here's a good rule of thumb. Adhere to THE THREE I'S: INTENSITY, INTEGRITY and INTELLIGENCE. THE THREE I'S made me Pittsburgh's most beloved radio personality. THE THREE I'S made Kurt Angle a gold medalist. It's true. It's damn true.
THE THREE I'S are non-negotiable. They cannot be edited. When Steelers fans tailgate, they tend toward intoxicated, idiotic and inexcusable. You can't be an Olympic hero when your shoes are covered in puke. Again...it's damn true.
Malkin scored last night. Good. Do it again tomorrow at Tampa.
The Pirates won last night. Good. Do it again today at Arizona.
Photo courtesy of WireImage.